A human being is a social animal and it needs his tribe around him. The basic needs of a person are the sense of belongingness apart from a sense of control, a meaningful existence and achievement. And yet there are people who are ostracized from the society. The reasons for such behavior might be simple and in some cases trivial but the effect of Ostracization leaves a huge impact on the person being ignored.
Ostracism is a silent abuse. The effects of which are only felt by the person who is being rejected by the society. Unlike bullying, Ostracization does not leave any physical markings just an emotional one that may make the victim even more withdrawn and in some cases suicidal and homicidal.
The 3 stages of Ostracization
- The beginning of the act of being ignored and left out.
Exclusion, even when it is by the hands of a stranger makes a greater impact. It juxtaposes the fundamental functionality of human being. The very need to be a part of the group is what makes a human a social animal. - Coping
Even being ignored by a stranger leaves the negative impact. Every individual is different and thus the impact of exclusion and rejection varies too. The way the ostracized one copes is also different and thus cannot be categorized. - Resignation
A person would try to be included back in the society. They would try mimicking and give up control and obeying. But when such resorts fail they become sad and aggressive. They may cause harm to themselves or people around them.
In order to deal with Ostracization a person needs to go through a process. Seek help from a counselor or family member. Don’t be shy to ask for help! Here are a few ways to deal with it.
- Grieve
Ostracization is like a social death. It is the end of social contacts and it sure feels like as if someone close to you died. The rejection and feeling of abandonment set beginning of doom. Just the way we deal with death, Ostracization needs to be dealt in a similar manner. Accept that your social being has died and later grieve over it. - Accept
The best way to deal with it is to accept it and then try to regulate your overwhelming emotions. Most people are not able to handle their emotions and become depressed and/or angry. Try responding to these emotions and not react. In order to regulate your emotions try a few breathing exercises to calm down your brain. - Take care
When a person is handling the emotions it is also important to handle the physical being. You cannot ignore your health. Eat healthy, sleep well and exercise often. Shifting the focus back on yourself helps to accept and gives a positive mind frame. - Time to rejoin
It cannot be insisted enough that we all are social beings. In case of the victim of Ostracization, rejoining the society is not easy. The difficult step needs to be initiated. Try and make friends with a single person. Trying to connect with even one person is going to give the sense of belongingness and purpose. This is the most difficult step but nevertheless most important one.
On the road to recovery you should also be able to forgive yourself and forgive others. Though Ostracization is wrong the person committing it is sometimes unaware. Every individual is aware of the importance of being rooted and yet some reject and ignore others. Awareness needs to be spread about Ostracization and how the victim feels like being in a bottomless pit.
P.S: Introverts chose to be left alone and are happy in their own company but a person being ostracized is worse than being bullied.
A mother of two, Preeti Bhandari is a colloquial writer. She believes in simple living which reflects in her writings. As the Editor of Narisakti, she intends to use her vast experience to propel this platform to a cult status among entrepreneurial networks.
When not writing she is quilling, both with paper and thoughts.
Beautiful – many need this inspiration!