A woman does not marry a man; she marries the entire household and the family. The age old saying of society goes like this. There are endless rules, norms, and directives to a girl when she is getting married. After all she is the one who is going to change her name and give up her entire life and relocate into a new home, family and life.
Though I wonder where if the man goes through them? Are all the adjustments to be made from the girl’s end? Yes, I am a woman and the article comes from my perspective. But there is a voice of rational that forces me to think from both the perspective.
Questions and more Questions
I do not rely much on social media for information and definitely not for couple goals. I have seen men of both kinds in my family. Those who feel that the woman is their better half and also those ones who feel that they are men and thus entitled to supremacy! So I often wonder which one is the correct type. No need to stereotype them as “sissy”, “momma’s boy” or even “wife-follower”. They have their own will and thinking to follow. My question still remains! Are these men taught differently or brought up differently? These questions are never answered.
Parenting
When a child is born, does the work of the father ends there? He was involved in the reproducing and providing for the family, but for the rest of the work from there on is to be done by the mother. From changing the nappies and feeding to teaching and schooling and even making sure the kids are well behaved. While the name of the father is the one that goes in all the official documents!
Everyday chores
When a man is working, he is not supposed to be disturbed. He gets tired and even need to rest. So the entire household needs to fall in line according to his schedule. But just in case a woman is busy, she needs to leave her work and get up and answer the call. “Mom”, “MA” “Preeti” is all I hear whenever I am in the washroom or working or even eating my meal. Coz, God forbids the heaven will fall if I don’t answer immediately. Everything automatically becomes the duty of the woman of the house. She is not called a homemaker for nothing!
One Woman Many Roles
Being the woman also comes with various roles all packed up into one. A doctor, a teacher, tech expert, maid, electrician, handyman, a cook, a driver and the list is endless. The man on the other hand is expert in his own field for the rest of it he needs to ask his wife.
Pseudo Feminism
We usually talk about women empowerment and uplifting them while giving them equal rights. Agreed many take advantage of Feminism and call out men on the cases of #metoo and #antifeminist but the actual issue will always remain that there is a huge difference between our words and our actions. The day men stop acting entitled and start acting like equals we will be uplifted.
I have always questioned these norms. Even when it is the matter of religion, the woman is said to be impure and yet we pray the Goddess. The woman in the history always had to make sacrifices for the sake of their man. Sita was made to leave Ram because of a rumor. Parvati had to do a lot of prayers and penance before she could ever attain Shiv. In no way is this attack on the thinking of a man, it has been fed into them for a very long time and by none other than older women. So it is actually a question about what do we want our men to learn here- To treat their women as equal or to treat them as below them? It is in no way a question on their dignity. It is a big question on their way of thinking and their way of life.
A mother of two, Preeti Bhandari is a colloquial writer. She believes in simple living which reflects in her writings. As the Editor of Narisakti, she intends to use her vast experience to propel this platform to a cult status among entrepreneurial networks.
When not writing she is quilling, both with paper and thoughts.
